Not from daughters of Canaanites but from [Gen 24]

Not from daughters of Canaanites but from the daughters of my own relatives

Gen 24

Gen 24:3-4

Introduction

Birth, Marriage and death are the major events of human life.  Among them, marriage is the happiest moment of human affairs. But like any other human affairs, it is wrought with much sinfulness of men. Gen 6:2 says this: the sons of God saw that the daughters of humans were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose.  The corruption of marriage is one of the most prominent expressions of ungodliness. [Luke 17:27]People were eating, drinking, marrying and being given in marriage up to the day Noah entered the ark. Then the flood came and destroyed them all. In this way, Jesus pointed out that seeking happiness in marriage without godliness will lead destruction.   

Simply when we look at our society, over 50 % of marriage ends in divorce. So it is quite reasonable for many to fear marriage and many live a single life. Even this we know plagues with much sinfulness. Christians are not exception to this statistics. Then comes a question, how can one find a suitable wife or husband that is fitting in godly purpose?  We, believers, trust God and his purpose on our lives. Then how should that faith affect in our marriage? To find answers to these questions, the marriage of Isaac is a very important for those who follow the way of Abraham’s faith. Simply, speaking of how Abraham handled the marriage of Isaac gives us an important lesson over how we should think and reason about marriages in our lives.

It took for 25 years for Abraham to know God and His blessing. He made many foolish mistakes and decisions. But by the grace of God, Abraham could secure God’s blessing, not only for himself but also for the generations to come after him. What was the extent of God’s blessing? 

V1 the LORD had blessed him in every way.

His chief servant describes God’s blessing on Abraham in this way; ³⁵ The LORD has blessed my master abundantly, and he has become wealthy. He has given him sheep and cattle, silver and gold, male and female servants, and camels and donkeys.

Spiritually and materially Abraham lacked nothing. But he became so old, more than 137. Isaac, born when Abraham was at 100 years old is now more than 37.

So there comes a serious question: how can Abraham make sure that the blessing that he received from the Lord can be carried on to Isaac and to his descendants?

As for Isaac, we know he will inherit Abraham’s material blessings, such as the cattle, sheep, and man and maid servants but what about the spiritual heritage?

While Abraham was walking along with his son Isaac to mount Moriah, Isaac asked his father, ‘where is the burnt offering?’ His father answered ‘God will provided a lamb for himself’ Actually he was about to be sacrificed by God’s command but God provided a ram in place of Isaac, saving him , and not allowing him to die.

In this way, God became the God of utmost authority of life as well as God of grace to Isaac as well. Simply speaking, Isaac was worthy and ready to receive God’s blessing.

Not only that, Isaac is the one and only child and he is the son of faith. Abraham’s hope hangs on Isaac’s life. 

One remaining concern is who is going to be Abraham’s daughter in law, or the wife of his son Isaac.  How important might it be? We can examine what God did to Sarah, the wife of Abraham.

In looking back at what happened to Sarah the wife of Abraham, Sarah showed her unbelief; in this unbelief she suggested Abraham to have a concubine, Hagar. A similar unbelief is found in her exchange of the word with God when God told her that she would have a son this time next year, she said this:  Genesis 18:12 -13 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, "After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?"  God rebuked her unbelief; Then the LORD said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'Will I really have a child, now that I am old?' Is there anything too hard for the Lord?’  Instead in less than a few months of this promise, she was taken by king Abimelek. That promise was about to be obliterated. But God rescued her from the hands of Abimelek. In this way God brought her up from unbelief to belief.

What about the coming daughter-in-law? Should she be as good as Sarah? Or at least should she be able to grow up to be Sarah? Then, where and how can Abraham find such a wife for Isaac? Finding a good wife is like finding a needle in a haystack.

But Abraham knew what to do.

A.    Abraham directed his servant to get a wife for Isaac.

Abraham had him swear by the Lord; Abraham made it clear that what he was about to do is not just between Abraham and the servant. God is deeply involved in this matter. Whatever the servant does, he must do in fear of the Lord. Abraham could not know all that he would do. He was not only old but he could not keep an eye on him either. Let God be the supervisor. Most importantly he may do things in view of God’s will and His purpose.

What was the binding condition?

V3³ I want you to swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, ⁴ but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac."

Here Abraham set forth two conditions that the servant had to keep. He must not get a wife from Canaanite. He must get a wife from his relatives in his home country, Paddan-Aram, several hundred miles away from home.

Truly it was a wild idea.  The relatives were living a few hundred miles from Abraham and most likely there were very few communications between them since he left them more than 50 year before. If there were any relatives around Isaac’s age, it was very likely that they do not know Abraham and his son Isaac at all. Also it was not Abraham himself is going. His servant is going. He may not have any acquaintance with any of Abraham’s relatives.

It is a very narrow path. Since he had to find a girl from his relatives, he had to find a girl who is good and acceptable.  At the same time she must be willing to come to this land. No ordinary girl or family would be willing to do such a thing—leaving her family to a very distant country, to an unknown man in marriage by a stranger! 

This is like finding a need in a hay stack. Simply this request is set on a very uncertain thing. It was beyond human configuration or idea, or any stretch of imagination!

But how did Abraham view this task?

⁷ "The LORD, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father's household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, 'To your offspring¹ I will give this land'--he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there.

In his mind, there was no ambiguity or uncertainty. He was so sure that God,  because of his promise, would lead this journey. God has been with him and God is with him in this matter and God will be with his descendants. In this belief he was convinced that God would surely lead the way of his servant.

This certainty in faith is well revealed in what he said next.

“⁸ If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.”

Among all of these difficulties, to bring a girl back to this land is the most formidable task! How can one persuade a girl to leave her family to a distant country, to go to a man in marriage by a stranger!

Before we proceed with how, I would like to discuss why Abraham set such an impossible demand for his daughter in law. We can ask this in three questions:

Then why was Abraham so insisting that the wife to be should not come from Canaanites? Why was he so firm in that the wife to be must come from his own relatives? Why was he so sure that a girl should come to this land, rather than Isaac go to her land?

1.     Once Abraham asked God a question: how can I know that I will gain possession this land? [15:8] Abraham was asking when and how he could inherit the land as his own for good. As an answer, God showed him vividly in a dream what would happen in coming years ahead. Here God revealed that his people will be enslaved for 400 hundred year in a different country and will be back to this land after four generations. The primary reason? The sins of Amorites have not reached its full measure[15:16]. Sin and God’s judgment of their sin is at the heart of issue!  When their sins are ripe for judgment, God will bring his people, the children of Abraham for the purpose of judging them; who are they that are to be punished and driven away? The list is in v 19-20. All of the people living in the land now will be judged by God, either by total destruction or being driven away. As we see in this list, all, without any exceptions, of the people living in the land that God promised to give Abraham are on this list. That means that none of these people in Heron or in Beersheba or any other neighboring kingdoms or tribes shall be destroyed or driven away because of their ungodly life. So he cannot choose a wife for his son Isaac from these kingdoms and tribes. It is a big challenge!

Simply this means that he cannot choose any woman of this land to be the wife of his son Isaac. Their sins are unacceptable to God and they will face sure judgment in coming years! What would happen if Isaac marries a Canaanite woman? All of his descendants will have the blood of Canaanite! Their influence will be on their children. Then it would be impossible to inherit God’s blessing. Abraham saw God’s judgment on Sodom and Gomorrah. Sexual immorality was the utmost expression of their ungodly life.

The present time is not much different from the time of Noah. Outward appearance, human ability, education, richness, or what kind of job one has are the key elements of decision making. If I put an individual perspective, I can put it this way: Can she meet my desire or can he meet my need? 

Then, there must be someone who knows God or fears God. Who else then would know God of Abraham?  As we know,  God called Terah, the father of Abraham ,Haran and Nahor from the Ur of Chaldeans. In response to God’s call, Terah took his family to Haran, several hundred miles away from Ur of Chaldeans. This migration tells us that the entire family knew of the God who called their father and then their brother Abraham.
So Abraham believed that his relatives would be the best choice because they knew God. Abraham set this as an absolute condition, a nonnegotiable in marriage of his son Isaac.

2.     She must be willing to come back here to the Promised Land! How can that be possible for a girl of a distant country? It is possible only when she not only believes in God’s existence but she must also accept God’s blessing anchored in this land where Abraham and Isaac live. This is the second absolute condition.

Abraham wanted his chief servant to take this inviolable guidance in God’s name. Actually, these three things determine who should be the wife of Isaac.  So as his master demanded, the servant made an oath taken in God’s name.

^“3 I want you to swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living,”

^“9 So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter.”

In this way the chief servant is bound in oath not only to Abraham but also to God for that promise.

The most important thing in this oath is not only his commitment to meet these three absolute conditions but that he would have faith that God would lead his journey and find a girl suited for Isaac. 

With these two absolute conditions and faith in God of Abraham, how did he carry out his mission?

B.    How did he carry out this duty or mission?

He is the chief servant of Abraham. How can he carry out his mission? The mission itself was so vital to Abraham. So much heavy was the weight of this mission to this servant. How can he carry it out or how can he make it successful?

There is a move called Mission Impossible. There was a scene where they are going to rob a bank vault; the vault was so well secured, there was no chance to get in and get out safely. But a group of people investigated every detail of the security system and found a small window of opportunity to get in and get out with a large sum of money. They executed their plan by the second and they succeeded it: the key elements of success for this mission were knowing the circumstances well, thorough preparation, and having other plans to accommodate any variations. These were the key elements of success of this mission. Is this the way the servant should carry out this mission in order to make this mission surely successful?

This servant showed some similarity to these people but in essence this man approached his task totally differently.

First task: to get there where the girl is!

V10 Genesis 24:10 Then the servant left, taking with him ten of his master's camels loaded with all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim¹ and made his way to the town of Nahor. (Gen 24:10 NIV)

He loaded on ten camels with all kinds of good things. This is a full and thorough preparation; In it were gold nose ring and bracelets; silver jewelry, articles of clothing, costly gifts …precious jewels such as this shows that he was sure of God’s leading and was ready to find a girl! Then he set out to Aram Naharaim, which is Haran. In the city of Haran there is a place called the town of Nahor.—as he heard that Nahor’s had 8 sons … [22:  ] 

Now he set himself at a well in an evening time when ladies come to draw water from the well.

The first thing he did here was pray

V12-14. If we look at this prayer more carefully we can see few things:

1.     [12]He was praying to the God of Abraham and he honored Abraham as God’s servant and what he pleaded was to God on behalf of Abraham.—God’s promise??  Believe in God’s promise.    

2.     [13]He set the stage to encounter many girls of the town beside a well at a late afternoon hour when the town’s ladies come out to draw water. He set himself in a situation where God can work his will.

3.     [14] He looks for a sign that would indicate God’s will. He wanted a girl who is not only kind to a stranger but also kind enough to offer water even animals like camels!

As he was finishing his prayer to God, what happened?

V15-16

Rebekah came out. She was Abraham’s brother Nahor’s granddaughter. She was a virgin and this time she came up a second time to draw water from the well.

So the servant did exactly as he said he would do in his prayer to God. He rushed to her and asked the girl for a drink from her jar. She was not only willing to do so but also she was willing to draw water for the camels too!

Since the bible does not describe how many times he had tried this, we do not know whether she was the first one or not. But one thing;

V21

²¹ Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the LORD had made his journey successful.

As he thought through what was happening in front of him, she was the right one that he prayed for. Careful watching and observing the current situation is important in order to read what God is doing.

What was his next move?

²² When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka¹ and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels.²

Think about what he did. She was a totally stranger. He just received a cup of water and she was kind to his camels. But now he is giving very heavy and expensive presents to her; nose ring and bracelets weighing 10 shekels=4 oz $3500]. It was his decisive commitment and move in faith that this was the girl to whom God is leading him. Did he know who she was? No! He had no idea if she was related to Abraham. But taking the signs by faith, he moved cautiously but decidedly.

Then he asked a key question; whose daughter are you! [v23] Is there any room to spend the night? What was her answer?

²⁴ She answered him, "I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son that Milkah bore to Nahor." ²⁵ And she added, "We have plenty of straw and fodder, as well as room for you to spend the night."

As he had prayed to God, the girl did exactly that. So far all things are going as he prayed for. Also she is one of Abraham’s relatives. She is really a granddaughter of his master’s brother!

As this was confirmed, what did he do?

²⁶ Then the man bowed down and worshiped the LORD, ²⁷ saying, "Praise be to the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the LORD has led me on the journey to the house of my master's relatives."

In this way he accomplished the second task; finding a girl from his master’s relatives!

At the house of Rebekah, her brother and mother welcomed him and provided a meal and lodging.

As they sat at the dinner table, he opened his mouth and said this. 

³³ Then food was set before him, but he said, "I will not eat until I have told you what I have to say." It was quite unusual to insist that he had to talk about his mission at the dinner table. But he was very clear; he came to carry out his mission to find a wife for Isaac. Until that purpose is achieved, the dinner before him has little significance. What if this girl rejects being the bride of Isaac?

As he was offered the time to talk, he began his long discourse about what happened, why he was there;  we can divide this into three steps;

1.     He introduced who he was, a servant of Abraham; and explained in depth how God blessed Abraham his master.

2.     He explained how and what mission he received from his master Abraham by oath including the two absolute conditions according to God’s promise

3.     He explained how God led the way on each step as he sought God’s guidance.

In this way he explained in detail how things happened step by step.  What was he trying to say? It is not the richness and power of his master Abraham. It is not his firm will to find a wife from his own clan. It is not how he carried out his mission in prayer. It is God who began this through his blessing on Abraham. It is God who gave Isaac, it is God who led his journey to Rebekah in every step! From the beginning till now it was all from God and his will!

At the end he said this,  

⁴⁹ Now if you will show kindness and faithfulness to my master, tell me; and if not, tell me, so I may know which way to turn." 

This is the moment of decision for Rebekah and her family. In this history God’s will was seen.  It was seen not just as a spotty moment of exultation but was filled with a very conclusive and clear cut demonstration of God’s will and his purpose! It is evidenced by prayer seeking God’s guidance. It is filled with thanksgiving and praise for God’s timely responses. In this way, the moment of decision is overwhelmed by God’s mighty hand and his will. When the family heard this, what did they say?

⁵⁰ Laban and Bethuel answered, "This is from the LORD; we can say nothing to you one way or the other. ⁵¹ Here is Rebekah; take her and go, and let her become the wife of your master's son, as the LORD has directed."

The Lord directed! So they could not say either yes or no; it is of God, let God’s will be done! This was an amazing result. Who is to take the credit for this amazing result?  As Abraham assured him, after all God led him to find a wife; when this came to his heart, he honored God [52]

" ⁵² When Abraham's servant heard what they said, he bowed down to the ground before the Lord.

Certainly all these began from Abraham’s firm faith in God’s promise. But here we can find things that made a success for the servant.

1.     He understood God’s will for Abraham as he made an oath in God’s name.

2.     He trusted God from the beginning to the end. He honored God as the leader of this mission; this is demonstrated in his prayer; he prayed for specifics and looked for specific answers. In this way there is an inseparable link between God and him.

3.     He maintained his servant-ship: he prepared thoroughly, he always called God as God of my master Abraham.  This is not just a call of relationship but giving him an utmost honor as God almighty; Abraham called God as God of heaven, God of the earth. To him God is the God who blessed Abraham abundantly. In this high view of God, and his master Abraham, he was a faithful and loyal servant. This servant-ship is further revealed when he finishes his task. In prayer he sought God’s guidance and his work on each step! In prayer seeking God’s guidance is the hallmark of a faithful servant. This is expressed in his prayers; he prayed to God and sought his guidance and gave thanks to his guidance and praised God for his blessing [12-14; 21; 26-27; 52]

In this way he passed the third task; acceptance from the family and from Rebekah.

But this does not end his mission.

C.    Rebekah’s decision of faith

The next day he wanted to take Rebekah to the land of promise about 400 miles away.

⁵⁴ Then he and the men who were with him ate and drank and spent the night there. When they got up the next morning, he said, "Send me on my way to my master."

It was not easy to send her off in a matter of hours to such a distant country, though they knew she was going to go to a good place and good family, though they knew it was the will of God, They wanted to spend a little more time together. With great reluctance they said;

 ⁵⁵ But her brother and her mother replied, "Let the young woman remain with us ten days or so; then you¹ may go."

But the servant was unperturbed by their emotional need. So he said; 

^56.., "Do not detain me, now that the LORD has granted success to my journey. Send me on my way so I may go to my master."

Truly he was pressing hard on this family. But this servant demanded a decisive action! When they could not persuade the servant, they turned it to Rebekah;

⁵⁷ Then they said, "Let's call the young woman and ask her about it." ⁵⁸ So they called Rebekah and asked her, "Will you go with this man?" "I will go," she said. They wanted to have more time with her. They were reluctant to give in to this man’s demand. But how did she feel about this?

She said yes; how could she do that? What kind of a girl was she? I like to think more about what kind of a person Rebekah was

1.     She was very kind and generous even to the animals. She has a will to serve and to give.

2.     She accepted that all these came about from God. She honored God and accepted God’s will on her life. She did not ask anything about the husband to be—Isaac. She dared to commit her life in this faith. This courage is seen in this decision as well; when she was asked if she was willing to leave that day, she said yes. In faith she made an all-out commitment though she knew only very little. In all aspects, she is showing her total trust in the God of Abraham!

How was this decision seen in the eyes of the family members? Such godly faith and godly character was not overlooked by her family. They blessed her in this way:

⁵⁹ So they sent their sister Rebekah on her way, along with her nurse and Abraham's servant and his men. ⁶⁰ And they blessed Rebekah and said to her, "Our sister, may you increase to thousands upon thousands; may your offspring possess the cities of their enemies."

Such a loving and giving heart along with such a decisive and courageous character is the place of God’s blessing; this blessing comes through bearing many children of faith that overwhelms the power of the enemies.

I like the name Rebekah; my wife Rebekah is like the Rebekah here. She cares and loves others with giving.  She is so diligent in serving; when she cooks, she cooks so much that we were never short on food even if more than two times the number of people show up. When she decides, she is very swift in moving; there is no hesitation or delay.

God truly found the best wife for Isaac. Such character is what God wants as a wife of one who would inherit God’s blessing.

In this way Abraham framed his thought and plan on finding a wife for Isaac in God’s promise of blessing. So she shall not come from the Canaanites. She has to come from his relatives. She must be willing to come here to the land of God’s promise. To sum up, we can answer this through two questions; How can God’s blessing be carried on in the family? Who or what kind of person is most fitting to accept or to keep or to carry on God’s blessing?

How is it different from how we or our society pursue marriage candidates? In big dynasties, marriage is thought along the line of strategic planning to preserve the wellbeing of the dynasty. So family background is important; how much wealth the family has; how much political power the family can exert, how much benefit she can bring to our family…certainly the individual ability to build such power or riches as well.   For them these are vital questions.

In today’s postmodern thinking, individualism is the norm. As the result, large families are disappearing and are replaced by nuclear families. Even these nuclear families are deeply in trouble because each spouse claims his or her own rights over others. All these came about because the purpose of family is in the happiness of itself. As we have seen in this narrative about finding a suitable wife for Isaac, the main concern is how Isaac can carry the blessing of God according to His promise. To uphold the promise of God's blessing, she must be a woman of faith and must commit herself to this promise. There are many other things to consider in marriage such as character, beauty, education, and family background. None of these are more important than one's faith in God Almighty and her commitment to pursue God's blessing. How about finding a good husband? The same principle may apply to this as well; The key question may be, “Is God's call and his blessing evident in him?” If yes, many weaknesses and shortcomings may bear much significance.

If we simplify this, for us believers, we can summarize as follows;  

1.     She must be from the family of faith in God.

2.     She must not be from Canaanite women

3.     After all, she must show a commitment to God’s purpose.